Airport Security Thought I was a Terrorist (this is worth reading, I promise)






So, I don't know if yall know this, but Michigan's breaks are super short cuz we get out of school in like april (which is a good tradeoff, i think), so our winter break ended on January 3rd, and classes started the 4th. Stupidly enough, I decided to take the 10pm flight on the 3rd from California back to Michigan, so I ended up arriving at around 5:30 in the morning on the 4th, 4 hours before my first class. Yeah..not smart, haha.

I got to the airport at around 8:30, checked in to Northwest (I HATE THEM. THEIR SEATS ARE HELLA UNCOMFORTABLE AND I COULDN'T FALL ASLEEP AT ALL, GRAGH) and spotted Michelle, who happened to be flying back on the same flight! Yay for Michelle. So anyway, her whole family was sitting in some seats seeing her off, so of course, being the typical asian families we were, my parents started conversing with hers and talking about how i was flunking out of school and how i wet my bed at night and how i should be more like michelle, who was independent and booked her own plane tickets, blabla (just kidding about the bedwetting...) you know, typical asian smalltalk.

So anyway, at around 9:30pm, our parents decided to send us off, and we left to go to our gates. about halfway to the security checkpoint, i realized that i had lost my license and i started panicking. my mom was like "dude, you had it at the counter, and we only moved like 10 feet from there. find it." so i started freaking out cuz i really couldn't find it, and i even asked the lady at the counter if she had seen it and she's like "no, but if you really need to make your flight, i can mark your plane ticket to get you through security." So I was like "okay, sure", ya know? Thinking that it was just a small marking that cleared me and was kind of her stamp of approval. Oh no. nuh uh. She draws 4 giant "S"s on my ticket, smiled sweetly, and gave it back.

So I'm walking to the gate, thinking that if i couldn't find my license, i didn't really need it anyway cuz i wouldn't be driving at michigan. well, i ended up finding my license in my back left pocket, where i NEVER put my stuff, and i had no idea how it got there. so anyway, i went with a light heart to the security checkpoint, where the lady there looked my license, looked at my ticket, and was about to send me off until she saw the huge "SSSS" on the ticket. Then she looked at my license again, looked up, and motioned for me to follow her. She led me to like the secondary line where they send suspicious people, and told me to go through it. After walking around the corner where I couldn't really see my parents anymore, I waited at the front of the line until some big black dude walked up to me.

He took my ticket, told me to put all my stuff into big brown bins (not the normal gray bins, mind you. BROWN ones.) Then I went through that giant walk-in machine thing where air blasts down from the top and they check you for explosive residue or something. The doors opened after about 30 seconds, and the dude crossed off the first "S" on my ticket. Then, I went through the metal detector (second S checked off) and a guy patted me down (third S checked off) Then, two guys sat me down in a chair and started taking all of the stuff out of my backpack.

I packed almost all of my electronics and chargers into the backpack, just because I was afraid it would get smashed up in normal luggage, so he was taking out my camera, my laptop, my ipod, my headphones, and every charger and cord that went along with them, too. And each item that the guys took out, they wiped the edges with a white piece of paper thing (supposedly looking for hazardous substances again) and put it through some machine that detected traces of dangerous stuff. Everything was okay until he wiped the inside of my backpack. When he stuck that piece of paper into the machine, it started beeping like mad and he was like "uh, we need a higher-up to come look at this." I was like "uh...what the hell just happened?" Apparently, there were minute amounts of something in my backpack that the machine picked up (he wouldn't tell me what it was) and protocol calls for some supervisor to come rescan it.

Towards the end of the inspection, my phone (which was still in the bin) started ringing, and both of the inspectors got really confused. It probably had something to do with my ringtone (yes, fergilicious, but only because someone had changed it. okay i lied, fergilicious really is my ringtone, but my phone is usually on vibrate anyway) So I picked it up and it was my dad, who was like "arthur, hurry up, they're calling you over the intercom." And usually, my dad says a lot of stuff like that to get me to hurry up, so I totally thought he was joking. I stuffed everything back into my backpack, and was walking to the terminal, when I heard it.

"Arthur Saye, please report to Gate 45A. Arthur Saye, last call." Haha, THEN i started running. So I got to my gate, and the two ladies at the desk were like "Are you Arthur Saye?" "Yes, yes, sorry!" So the guy who was doing the announcements on the intercom was kneeling on the ground, and when he saw me, he said "Welcome, Arthur Saye." HAH! so anyway, i ran through the tunnel, and went past like 5 security guys who were like "Mr. Saye is on his way." Oh man. So I got on the plane and they shut the doors right afterwards, and while i was walking past Michelle to my seat, she was like "What happened?" And, completely out of breath and slightly disheveled, I was like "they put me through the super security checkpoint thing for some reason, blabla" and right away, all the people within hearing distance turned and started at me, hahaha. probably not the best thing to say on when you're the late and the last person to get on the plane. So i just stopped talking and squished to my seat and sat down. What an experience, haha. I never knew that 4 little S's could cause so much trouble. I probably could have told them that it was because i lost my license, but that would have made it even more suspicious. So if you guys ever want to go through the cool machine, draw some S's on your ticket, haha. I always wanted to go through the super security walk-in machine, but now that I did, it really wasn't that special. It was cool being paged over the intercom at the airport though, haha. AND i made it to school okay. Good deal!

The Game is on ABC at 2:30pm eastern, 11:30am pacific.
#1 Ohio State (11-0) vs. #2 (soon to be #1) Michigan (11-0)
GO BLUE!!

Here are some pretty hilarious jokes about them Ohio State-ers


A first-grade teacher tells her class that she is an Ohio State fan.
She asks the students to raise their hands if they are Ohio State fans
too. Not really knowing what an Ohio State fan is, but wanting to be
liked by their teacher, all the students put their hands in the air --
with one exception. The teacher looks at the little girl who did not
raise her hand and asks her why she's decided to be different.
"Because I'm a Michigan fan," the girl said. The teacher, a little
perturbed, asks why. "Because my mom and dad are Wolverine fans, so I'm
a Wolverine fan, too." The teacher, angry, says, "That's no reason. What
if your mom and you dad were idiots?" The little girl smiles and says,
"Then I'd be an Ohio State fan."


A young man hired by a supermarket reports for his first day of work.
The manager greets him with a warm handshake and smile, gives him a
broom and says: "Your first job will be to sweep the store." The young
man is indignant. "But I'm an Ohio State graduate! I even played
football there!" "Oh, I'm sorry," replies the manager. "Give me the
broom and I'll show you how."


Two Ohio State football players are partying on campus when a bartender
asks what they're celebrating. The smart one says that they had just
finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months.
"Two months?!" exclaims the bartender. The Buckeye proudly replies:
"Yeah! The box said 4-6 years!"


A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Hey, want to
hear an Ohio State joke?" The man replies, "Well, before you tell that
joke, you should know something. I am six feet tall, 200 pounds and a
OSU graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6-2, 225 pounds and a OSU
graduate. The guy sitting next to him is 6-5, 250 pounds and is also a
OSU graduate. You still want to tell that joke?" The first guy
responds: "Nah. Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."


After former Ohio State coach Woody Hayes passes away and enters Heaven,
God takes him on a tour. He shows Woody a little two-bedroom house with
a faded Ohio State University banner hanging from the front porch. "This
is your home now, coach. Most people don't get their own house around
here!" God exclaims. Woody looks at the house then turns around and sees
the one sitting on the top of a nearby hill. It's a huge two-story
mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the
windows. Michigan flags line both sides of the sidewalk with a huge
maize and blue banner hanging between the marble columns.
Woody says, "Thanks for the new home, God, but let me ask you a
question: Why do I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded Ohio
State banner while Bo Schembechler gets a mansion with new banners and
flags?" God looks at him seriously for a moment, then replies: "That's
not Bo's house. That's mine!"


Four college alumni were climbing a mountain: An Ohio State grad, a
Michigan grad, a Penn State grad and a Notre Dame grad. Each claimed to
be the most loyal to their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they
argued about who was the most loyal of all. When they reached the top,
the Notre Dame grad suddenly hurled himself off the mountain,
shouting: "This is for the Fighting Irish!" Not to be outdone, the Penn
State grad threw himself over the edge, shouting: "This is for the
Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked over and shouted
"This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Ohio State fan off the
mountain.


Did you hear that a semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the
Ohio State campus? Officials had to check IDs before letting anyone back
on board.


A little boy and his mother were walking through the cemetery when they
spotted a headstone that read "Here lies an Ohio State graduate and a
good man." The little boy turned to his mother and asked, "Mommy, why
did they bury two people in there?"


Q: Why do Ohio State University fans keep their diplomas on their
dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.


Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Ohio State campus?
A: A visitor.


Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus?
A: Ann Arbor: 187 miles.


Q: What are the three longest years of an Ohio State football player's
life?
A: His freshman year.


Q: Why should Ohio State change its color from red to orange?
A: You can wear it to the game on Saturday, for hunting on Sunday and to
pick up trash along the highways the rest of the week.


What did the Ohio State fan say to the Michigan Fan? Welcome to
McDonalds. May I take your order?


A Michigan fan amused himself by scaring Ohio State fans on the side of
the road. He would swerve as if to hit them, and then swerve back just
in time. One day, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed
and pulled over. He asked "Can I give you a lift?" "God bless you my
son" replied the priest. They continued down the road and the driver saw
a Buckeye fan up ahead, instinctively, he swerved, narrowly missing the
guy, but he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise
came from, he remembered the priest. He turned and said "I'm sorry,
Father. I almost hit that Ohio State fan." "That's OK" replied the
priest. "I got him with the door."


Practice was halted today for the Ohio State football team. Players
found a white substance on the football field. After an intensive
investigation by local and federal agents it was determined to be the
goal line. Practice resumed investigators had no fear of the team being
contaminated by the goal line.

Q. How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your front porch?
A. Pay for the pizza.


GO BLUE!!!!